The Locker (Your Home Away From Home)

Your locker is a pretty big deal in middle school.  In addition to it being your home away from home, it’s where a lot of action takes place.  At the lockers is where you’ll dodge hall huggers, hear gossip, and have your own locker chitchats.

For the incoming sixth grader, the locker can be a source of stress.  Thoughts like, “Oh no!  I forgot my combo,” “What if I can’t open my locker?” and, “What if someone stuffs me in my locker and no one finds me until June,” may consume you at first, but after about a month it’s just a normal part of your day, like brushing your teeth.

So, first things first – how to open your locker.  Locker padlocks take a little practice but can easily be conquered.  Here’s the deal in being a locker pro the first day of school (so you don’t look like a scrub):

1. Spin the dial to the right a few times to clear it.
2. Turn right to the first number.
3. Turn left PAST zero, and the stop on the second number.
4. Turn right to last number and Voila!

REMEMBER:
NEVER, EVER, EVER GIVE YOUR LOCKER COMBINATION TO ANYONE!!!  THIS ONLY LEADS TO MAJOR PROBLEMS!!!

(Because CeCee’s locker is freakishly neat, and mine looks like a federal disaster area, she’ll be the one to tell you how to stay organized.)

Thanks, Luce!

Okay, so organization is extremely key to succeeding in middle school.  The first thing I like to do is affix my class schedule on the locker door and arrange my books and folders in order from first period to last.  I prefer a vertical stack because this gives me way more scope and latitude.  By always keeping my materials in order, I don’t have to fritter away precious seconds thinking about what I need.  It’s all right there in front of me.

I also utilize those locker hook thingies for my gym bag, purse, and jacket (if I brought one).  Additional plastic hooks can be procured at any drug or supply store.  Remember, whatever you do, don’t be a crammer (someone who just randomly crams things into their locker and shuts the door hoping the locker fairy will somehow organize their shambolic chaos before their next class).  Crammers never stay organized and seldom earn righteous grades.  Also, try to clean out your locker once a week, just to make sure it stays tidy and organized.

Garnishing your locker with decorations and personal heraldry is a lot of fun.  Some girls choose to have a motif, like flowers or rainbows, whereas most guys go for the hero-worshiping array of sports dudes and rappers.  When it comes to interior decorating, I’m more of a feng shui-ist, but a couple of items are absolutely locker-essential: a mirror for facial and food-between-teeth checkups and photos of your most principled friends and/or fave celebrities.  Along with lifting your spirits, photos can be a definite conversation piece.

HELPFUL HINTS FROM LUCY: Have a secret emergency compartment with a few unmentionables.  You never know when you’re little friend might show up.  (Just sayin’!)  Also, never leave food in your locker for long periods of time.  Once I left a carton of milk and some Cheetoes over holiday break.  It was an ant fest when I got back and major nast!!!  Oh yeah, I try to hang up lots of pictures of random cool looking people so as to appear popular.  Resulting outcome: pending.

STUFF YOU’LL NEED:

♥ A locker/lock
♥ A mirror
♥ Magnets
♥ Cute boy pics
♥ Celebrity and band pics
♥ Tons of B.F.F. photo ops.  (Take a day and pose with your B.F.F.  Then choose which pics you should display.)
♥ Magnets/Tape

Unicorns and Rainbows,
Lucy

http://www.amazon.com/Cecees-Survive-Thrive-Middle-School/dp/1462039669

Who Are You? Surviving Cliques and Labels

Lucy: Cliques are social groups of tight-knit circles with characteristics often defined by attitude, clothes, and music. Common ones throughout the ages are preps, goths, emos, oddballs … what else, C.?

CeCee: Hipsters, delinquents, VIP popular kids, couples, loners, geeks, band people—

Lucy: Bookworms, nerds, punks, skaters, drama people, choir people, nonconformists—

CeCee: Who, by virtue of nonconforming, are, in fact, conforming—irony alert!

Lucy: Tomboys, jocks, grade repeaters, cheerleaders, wannabes—

CeCee: I think that about covers it, Luce.

Lucy: So, CeCee—why do you think there are cliques to begin with?

CeCee: Because it’s a universal law that everyone wants to belong and feel a part of something. In this respect, cliques are normal and healthy.

Lucy: Are you implying that some cliques are abnormal and unhealthy?

CeCee: Absolutely! Cliques can squelch individuality, promote exclusivity, and frown on clicking outside the clique. This is not normal and healthy.

Lucy: Rightsies.

CeCee: So when choosing a clique, make sure to find a group of people who embrace who you are as a person—

Lucy: And let you pick your own peeps. You don’t want a clique that’s all exclusive and controlly.

Lucy and CeCee: Because cliques are a big part of middle school and only get more intense in high school, we’ve taken five basic ones and analyzed them.

WARNING: These analyses are based on general stereotypes that should not be applied to individuals. They are merely personas, like what you see in movies and television shows. That said, there may be tiny hints of truth to each, so really think about who you are before committing to a clique.

Punky Goth Types
Distinguishing Trademarks: Rockin’ the black fishnets, Manic Panic hair dye, loads of eyeliner, combat boots, multiple piercings, and anarchy tattoos. Punks and goths are more distinguished in high school, whereas in middle school, they pretty much run together. The basic difference is punks are more political and rebel against authority. Goths are into fantasy, Victorian/vampire-y things, and shop at Hot Topic.

Why They’re Cool: Punky goth types have a strong sense of self and don’t really care about what others think. Since they relish in being atypical, they are immune to silly trends and rages.

Downside: A little too gloom and doom. They experience a lot of “black flack” from parents who don’t understand the whole “what’s the point of life” attitude. Some PGs suffer from a gothier-than-thou syndrome and are very tiresome to be around.


Nerds
Distinguishing Trademarks: Pants pulled up high with a belt, shirt neatly tucked in, hair slicked back and gelled, and, of course, the thick-framed tortoiseshell glasses. They say things like “nifty” and “neato.” These number crunchers are always on the honor roll, into sci-fi marathons, and sometimes persecuted for their superior intellect.

Why They’re Cool: Nerds are walking encyclopedias who don’t answer to anyone but their computers. They have bright, productive futures that include graduation from MIT, inventing something “nifty,” and getting filthy rich like no one’s business. Also, they’re the only clique with a candy named in their honor.

Downside: Nerds aren’t exactly known for their fun side, and some would argue with the exception of D&D parties, they have a nonexistent social life. Some nerds fall victim to wedgies, swirlies, and other pranks.


Cheerleaders
Distinguishing Trademarks: Superperky, glossified, flirt-in-a-skirt types. They do herkies for no particular reason, talk with tons of emotion, and sprinkle their conversations with lots of words like “totally,” “soooooo,” and “OMG.”

Why They’re Cool: Cheerleaders are always happy, hyper, and superflexible. They make pep rallies and games entertaining and don’t mind living up to their stereotypes.

Downside: Cheerleaders are hypercompetitive and not known for their astronomical IQs. Occupational hazards include twists, sprains, and breaks.


Preps
Distinguishing Trademarks: Always clean, neat, and well groomed with classic, soap opera-y names like Amanda, Charlotte, Walker, and Blake. They wear shirts with little alligators and polo dudes on them. Preps are superconfident, ambitious, and image conscious.

Why They’re Cool: They see “preppiness” as a lifestyle choice, not a clique. They are classy, refined, and smell nice. Most preps are very friendly.

Downside: Some are money obsessed and snobby but will attempt to hide it for the lower classes so not to appear impolite.


Jocks/Sporties
Distinguishing Trademarks: Physically large and muscular; hair is styled in a crew cut. Since they tend to be BMOCs, jocks/sporties walk with an arrogant strut. Like their female counterparts (cheerleaders), they dwell at the top of the social ladder. They listen to the coach like he’s god and act like there is no point to life but sports.

Why They’re Cool: These able-bodied athletes are also natural-born leaders. When you have them on your team in gym, you will most likely win.

Downside: These “muscle heads” are supercompetitive and act like it’s the end of the world when they lose. Some may be mean to their polar opposite persona—the nerd.

To find out more about surviving cliques and labels, read Lucy and CeCee's How to Survive (and Thrive) in Middle School…

 http://www.amazon.com/Cecees-Survive-Thrive-Middle-School/dp/1462039669

The Secret Chew: How to Hide Gum in Class

An Excerpt From the Award-Winning Tell-All

Lucy and CeCee's How to Survive (and Thrive) in Middle School

Lucy: Hiding gum in class is a specialized skill—as useful as multiplying or writing the five-paragraph essay.

CeCee: Why’s that, Luce?

Lucy: Because a lot of teachers get very worked up over the gum thing. We know—you’d think teachers have better things to expend their energy on, but for some reason, chewing gum on their watch gets many teachers’ undies in a bunch (scary visual alert). And, let’s face it—gum is necessary!

CeCee: It does alleviate stress and give you something to do in class while listening to coma-inducing subjects, such as photosynthesis and noun conjugation.

Lucy: Plus, there could be emergency circumstances—like you’re doing a lab with your crush and you have narsty mystery meat breath from lunch.

CeCee: An added bonus is that, if done correctly, chewing gum in class gives you that look of laid-back nonchalance.

Lucy: In other words, you look cool. The ultimate goal when chewing gum is to have your peers notice but not the teacher. When your peers notice, they’ll be secretly jealous and think you’re extra awesome for rebelling against the cardinal gum rule—unless you get caught, of course!

CeCee: Then, they’ll secretly gloat as you stagger over to the trashcan while your teacher screams like a banshee.

Lucy and CeCee: To avoid such a scenario, we recommend you practice chewing gum in your most clueless teacher’s class first while following these guidelines.


L&C’s How to Chew Gum on the Sly Tips

1) Unwrap the gum and place in mouth before entering class. (This sounds like a big duh, but some people mindlessly unwrap their sweet treat right in front of the teacher—only to get busted seconds later.)

2) Chew quietly and stealthily by making your chews small and with your mouth shut! No big dramatic jaw movements. If the teacher’s back is turned, you may feel like chewing louder, cracking, or chomping on your gum, but don’t. You’re bound to forget to stop when the teacher turns around, and then game over! And remember—no matter how tempting it is, no bubbles!

3) If called on to answer a question, your chances of getting caught have just multiplied, but you have some options. You can:

♥ slide the gum over to the back right or left side of your mouth and answer the question;

♥ quickly cough or clear your throat, spit the gum in your hand, and put it back in after you answer the question; or

♥ just swallow it.

4) Be warned that if you bungle any of the above, your teacher will surely confront you with “Are you chewing gum?” Some teachers will even go so far as to have you open your mouth and stick your tongue out. This desperate display of teacher authority is—of course—ridiculous, but then there are ridiculous teachers out there who think gum chewing is the ultimate violation.

Stuff You’ll Need:
♥ Gum
♥ Clueless teacher

Dear Diary ~
Arghhhhh! I was so excited about Josh’s note, I forgot 2 hide my gum and proceeded 2 blow a bubble right N the middle of Mr. Kragler’s slice-and-dice demonstration. I mean, what kinda sadist dissects innocent frogs anywayz? Mr. Kragler is obviously a kid and animal hater.

It’s just my luck that Josh finally wants 2 meet me face-2-face, and I get busted 4 gum! Now, I’m sitting N the stupid dean’s office with the other fixtures while Ms. Quinn calls my house. I already told her my parents R at work, but she doesn’t believe me. Now, she’s leaving a message about my habitual gum violations. How moronic!

So, what should I do? Maybe I should just run 4 it. But then, I’d get busted 4 sure. That Shakespeare dude was right. The course of true love never did run smooth. (Hey, Ms. Snow would be proud!) I know—I’ll write Josh a note declaring my love.

Hearts and twinkling tiaras,
Lucy


Dear Josh ~

SS I couldn’t meet U third period. I totally got busted 4 chewing gum. How stupid is that? What U need 2 know is I am totally crushing on U 2! Some people (my BFF included) think you’re going out with Kandi Klass, but I happen 2 know U have better taste than that.

So, we should totally go out becuz I think you’re awesome! Call me tonight, babycakes!

Hearts and unicorns 4-eva,
Lucy
285-8585 (cell)
glittergirl@netlink.com

(Note folded and sealed with Bonnie Bell Watermelon Pink Lip Smacker Star Glaze kiss)

http://www.amazon.com/Cecees-Survive-Thrive-Middle-School/dp/1462039669

To Club or Not to Club

Lucy and CeCee: So, you put in a full day at school. Why should you stay after an extra two hours just to be in an extracurricular club? Actually, it turns out we both think clubs are supercool and totally worth the extra time (for different reasons, of course).

Why Clubs Are Cool by CeCee: Clubs are cool because you can hobnob with comrades who have common interests and goals. You can interact with your teachers outside of class and get to know them better. Also, you will come to establish quality traits like social responsibility and leadership skills. By joining a club and becoming involved, you feel more connected to the school community and become a “part” of things.

Why Clubs Are Cool by Lucy: You can meet guys. So, basically, there are three types of clubs: academic, athletic, and social. Some clubs require that you be voted in or try out—like student government or cheerleading—but most just require enthusiasm and willing attitude.

Typical Middle School Clubs:

♥ Mathcounts

♥ Future Problem Solvers

♥ Environmental club

♥ Science olympiad

♥ Spanish/French/German and other foreign language clubs

♥ Sports (basketball, volleyball, softball, gymnastics, football, soccer, etc. )

♥ Debate club

♥ Chess

♥ D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)

♥ Band

♥ Choir

♥ Student council/government

♥ Dance troupe or drill team

♥ Science fiction club

♥ Book club

♥ Cheerleading

♥ School newspaper

Personal Note from CeCee: Don’t shun the academic clubs. Case in point: My math skills and confidence were positively wretched in the sixth grade until I joined Mathcounts. Since then, my grades and test scores have totally improved. Don’t get me wrong—math will never be my favorite subject, but when our Mathcounts team competes against other schools and wins, it’s pure binomial bliss!


Madison Messenger
May Edition, Volume VII, Issue 5
Letter to the Editor

Dear Editor:

It’s time for a fashion face-off with this PTA lady. Why does Mrs. Linda Pringle think she can change the dress code policy at Madison Middle to require uniforms? Students need to express themselves. Everyone knows uniforms are not the great equalizer; they are the great oppressor! Not only that, but establishing a uniform policy is unconstitutional and violates freedom of speech. Also, where is Mrs. Pringle getting all this research claiming uniforms raise test scores? We have so very few rights as middle school students as it is. Why take away our right to fashion?

Sincerely,
Dressed and Oppressed


Dear Dressed and Oppressed,

I certainly appreciate and understand your frustration. I like my fashion freedom, too! Unfortunately, if Mr. Payne, the PTA, and the Madison Heights School Board support the new uniform policy, it will most likely become a reality. That said, I will communicate your concerns and share them with the student body. Until then, flaunt your fashion freedom, and fight on!

Yours in label lust,
Cecelia E. Cruz, Editor in Chief

Addendum

How to Start Your Own Club by Lucy 

I’ve decided to start my own club. It will be an environmental fashion club called the EFC. It’s a fab idea because: 1) it will be a diversion from the whole school uniform thing, and 2) it will make me superpopular.

As president of the EFC, I am quickly learning there are many things one must know before starting his or her own club:

♥ Have at least three people in mind that can help you start the club. Otherwise, you might be viewed as just some weirdo loner with a cause.

♥ Find a club advisor—hopefully a hip, cool teacher with some passion. In other
words, find a teacher who’s not just going to do it for the extra stipend but
can help recruit students and advise when necessary.

♥ Run ideas by the principal and fill out all required forms, including the club
objective, costs, fund-raising, and so on. Tip: Explain to the principal how the club will raise test scores.

♥ Advertise the club with eye-catching posters and homeroom announcements.

♥ Have a set meeting place and agenda.

♥ Serve cookies at meetings. Advertise the fact that cookies will be served.

♥ Make cool club T-shirts to be worn on club days.

Stuff You'll Need:

♥ Meeting place
♥ Plan or club platform
♥ Principal’s approval
♥ Sponsor
♥ Members
♥ Posters
♥ Cookies
♥ Courage and confidence

How NOT to be Noticed in Class

Lucy: Let’s face it. Sometimes, you’d rather not be called on in class.

CeCee: Yeah! Like when you forgot to read that last chapter in English.

Lucy: Or when you have a humungo zit, are laid up with lunch flu, or are just feeling oogly altogether.

Lucy and CeCee: Keeping a low profile takes a little skill, but with practice, you can be present, accounted for, and invisible.

L&C’s How to Go Incognito Tips

♥ Align yourself perfectly with the person sitting in front of you. If sitting in the front row, pretend to take copious notes and/or have head in your textbook.

♥ Hover over your assignment as if highly engaged. Look engrossed, and do not make eye contact with teachers. (They tend to call on students who look at them.) At the same time, nod your head periodically to show you’re paying attention. (Teachers also tend to call on students who are off task.)

♥ A little trick is to answer one question at the beginning of class that’s a no-brainer. This way, your teacher has heard from you and won’t be compelled to call on you again.


Stuff You’ll Need:

♥ Notebook

♥ Text

♥ Pen/pencil

♥ Student in front of you

***Horoscope by Destiny Stars: Brace yourself for drama, drama, drama.***  

Today’s Complexion Report: Mother Nature is on a warpath as mass eruption on chin balloons into a stage-ten runaway zit. Pain factor is off the charts. Until a new clearing front sweeps through, take necessary precautions. Today’s complexion report brought to you by It’s-What’s-Poppin’ Pimple Treatment Gel.

Dear C.C. ~
Whatup, girlie? Just sitting here making myself invisible N history. Did U get the take-home letter today N homeroom? I mean, I really want 2 die. Doesn’t my mother have anything better 2 do than 2 constantly ruin my social life? Kids are already starting 2 come up 2 me ready 2 have it out, and I just lie and say, “No relation.” Of course, no one seems 2 believe me. Some birthday I’m having! (Thanks 4 the balloons, by the way. I heart U!)
2 top off my birthday blues, Josh still hasn’t broken up with that bimbette, Kandi Klass. I just don’t get it. Does she have some kind of voodoo hold on him or something? Is he under hypnosis?
Anywayz, I hope U don’t mind me asking—but do U feel okay? U just seem kinda tired and worn out lately, and U never eat anything except those Twizzler Nibs. Just making sure you’re not turning N-2 one of those rib-counting chicks. Don’t get me wrong—U still look fly, and I love your new Mary Jane platforms. But just sayin’. U know I’m here if U want 2 talk about anything, right?

Hearts and daisy petals,
Lucy

PS Not that I have 2 say anything, but please don’t publish anything about the uniform policy N the Madison Messenger. It’ll just get everyone all trippy and Kandi Klass & Co. is already sending me toxic hate vibes.
L8R



Tonight’s Homework:
None—feeling too wrathful to focus
Call Chase

Secret Thoughts After Reading Lucy’s Note

I don’t care if it’s her birthday or not—I think I might be seriously enraged with Lucy! First of all, what right does she have asking me not to publish something in the Madison Messenger? The uniform policy is serious school news, and she knows that! As editor, it is my duty is to observe, investigate, and report—all conflicts of interest aside. Sometimes, she’s dumber than a box of rocks!
And then, she has the audacity to inquire about my dietary proclivities. Maybe she should worry about herself for a change! What business is it of hers if I’m not eating? Frankly, she could stand to lose a few LBs! Maybe then she’d get a boyfriend. Speaking of—if I hear one more time about her fauxlationship with Josh Land, I think I’m going to lose it! It’s so irritating! But honestly—maybe this is about other things … I don’t usually get so peevish with Lucy, even when she’s acting like an überditz.
I wish I could talk to someone about my inner turmoil. I tried asking Cora about boys last night, but she only pretended to listen, and now that she’s made cheerleader, she’s way too preoccupied for anything else—most especially her dorky little sister.
Why is life soooo confusing? Where is the clarity? Where is my magical advisor?
Oh, moons of madness!

CeCee

Passion for Fashion

Well, it's that time of year, when your parents, grandparents, and bizarro aunts and uncles will be asking what's on your wish list.  In other words, it's the perfect time to pursue your passion for fashion - right?

I’m as shy as they come, but when it comes to my day-to-day threads, I’m a bold, fearless fashionista. I guess you could classify my look as boho chic laced with a few punked-out accessories. I know, I know—it totally goes against the bespectacled nerd-girl concept, but that’s the brilliant thing about fashion—it expresses the wild child within and makes my gear buzzworthy! (I actually attribute my edgy trend tastes back to my Catholic school days when the required oxford blouse, plaid skirt, and rosary beads forced me to think outside the box.)

Now, the thing about fashion is you really don’t have to break the bank to be swank. Except for the occasional babysitting or tutoring job, I don’t have a big cash stash myself but still manage to throw together clever little ensembles. Sure, I shop at Abercrombie and Gap like the rest of the masses, but I also find a lot of spunky stuff (belts, purses, military jackets, etc.) at the Goodwill and other thrift stores. So yeah— it’s okay to get a little daring—especially when it comes to the trimmings. And yes, you’ll get an occasional eye roll or a mumbled snarl from the SMGs (Supermean Girls), but they’re probably just jealous because you’re rockin’ it and they’re not. After all, no one respects an Aberzombie clone who’s just following the trendies!


How to Rock It Hip Tips:
♥ Accessories rule
♥ Wear a pair of Chucks with a scarf
♥ Layers, layers, layers
♥ Try a low-slung, chunky belt
♥ Enhance any outfit with vintage jewelry and/or dangly chandelier earrings—love that stuffy Victorian bling!
♥ Mix and match colors and patterns—but sparingly
♥ Rock a mini with leggings and flats

Fashion Don’ts
I don’t believe in the fashion police, but there are a few no-no’s everyone should adhere to for the sake of mankind and world peace. In my honest and humble opinion, the following are universal fashion flubs (i.e., not a good look for anyone):

♥ Acid-washed jeans
♥ Ruffles
♥ Heels you can’t walk in
♥ Black lipstick
♥ Yellow
♥ Too-low lowriders
♥ Fishnet
♥ Shoulder pads
♥ Thong peek-a-boos
♥ Hairy legs with skirts or shorts

Remember:
1) Stay clear of sheer
2) If it doesn’t fit, it’s gonna split
3) Too bright ain’t right
4) If you wear it, rock it!


As a bonus, I'm including my Back-to-School Shopping List:

1. Black leggings
2. Platforms in any color
3. Flared denim jeans
4. Black skinny jeans
5. Faux-leather tote
6. Mary Janes
7. Denim vest
8. Burgundy glam-punk blazer
9. Neon pink Chuck Taylors
10. Strategically ripped vintage concert tees
11. Gypsy broom skirt
12. Chandelier and hoop earrings
13. Lace-up combat boots
14. Gold and silver bangles
15. Purple knit beret
16. Black trapeze dress
17. Flannel tunic
18. Granny cardigan

(The trick is to strike a balance between the trends and classics, sprinkled with your own personal touches.)

Scary Sitch: Know your fashion limits and the school dress code policy. Once, during my Catholic school days, I tied my white oxford into a navel-knot halter à la Britney Spears, got five demerits, three Hail Marys, and a lecture from Sister Eugenie on the virtues of modesty. Yikes!

Love,
CeCee

What's With Homeroom???

Lucy: You’ll most likely start your middle school day with homeroom, which is kind of like your home base at school.

CeCee: And, while its official purpose is for the teacher to take attendance and the principal to make school-wide announcements—

Lucy: Most students sleep, talk, or scramble to finish their homework.

CeCee: You probably won’t get a grade in homeroom, but it’s a useful time to organize your day. Usually, announcements are broadcasted on an intercom or television. It may be tempting to tune out or talk to your neighbor, but don’t.

Lucy: Why not?

CeCee: Because you can learn about important school activities like dances, pep rallies, and club tryouts.

Lucy: Thrillage!

CeCee: Homeroom teachers are usually pretty cool because they don’t have to teach or grade papers during that time, so if you have questions, ask them!

Lucy and CeCee: Below are our respective helpful hints (in obvious rank contrast to one another) to help you cruise through homeroom.


Helpful Hint from CeCee: Use homeroom to your advantage by calendaring assignments and looking over anything that’s due that day. Also, it’s an ideal time to ask to use the bathroom and read stall scrawl.

Helpful Hint from Lucy: Use homeroom to catch up on social correspondence or to tweak your action plan for snagging that hottie crush. Also, it’s a great time to ask to use the bathroom and read stall scrawl.