So you're starting middle school and a little worried, right? Well, put your freak-out on pause because we got the goods on how to make middle school the best three years ever. Why is our blog so unique? Hel-lo!! Because we're in middle school, too!
Anyways, we know you want to get A's and be super popular. And the truth is you can - which is why we wrote this super cool awesome handbook called
LUCY AND CECEE'S HOW TO SURVIVE (AND THRIVE) IN MIDDLE SCHOOL. We're going to tell you everything from how to snag that skater slacker you're crushing on to pinching out an A from that sadistic science teacher with the weird combover.

In short, we'll teach you not just how to survive - but thrive in middle school. So with that - here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help us Good Fairy of Popularity...

Hearts and rainbows,
Lucy &

Sunday, September 23, 2012

How to Munch at Lunch

The Dreaded Hot-Lunch Line
Time is precious, and negotiating your way through the swarming hot-lunch line takes some skill. The best way to buy hot lunch is to walk purposefully to the end of the line and maintain position. Beware of cutters who may have a ruse, such as acting like they forgot a fork or straw. Usually they are wormy little sixth graders, so don’t be afraid to tell them to buzz off! You may think it best to wait for the line to die down, but don’t! By that time, the food goes from grotesque to downright vomitous. (Just sayin’!)
            Not all entrees induce the lunch flu, but be cautious of certain food items. Anything with a catchy name like “Fiesta Fajitas” or “Burger Bangers” should be sized up with suspicion. Also, dodge the mystery meat whenever possible. This is anything containing meat product that can’t easily be identified with the naked eye. It’s usually topped off with some sort of gravy-like sauce so as to conceal its identity. Hence, the name. Also, stay away from the pizza altogether, as it’s riddled with mystery meat droppings and altogether nast. 

Where to Sit
Where to sit in the middle school cafeteria is a strategic chess move that can be executed with ease. Just face the fact that cliques are the number-one unspoken rule of the lunchroom. (If you don’t already know, a clique is a self-segregating group that hangs and eats together. They were around when your grandparents went to school, and they’ll be around when your grandchildren go to school. A few common ones throughout the ages are preppies, geeks, punks, emos, oddballs, hipsters, VIP popular kids, and wannabes.)
            Now, the good news is you can click outside your clique. You just have to know which ones are flexible and which are not. For example, the trinity of Madison Heights royalty—Kandi, Kassi, and Kalli—is one grub ’n’ snub club that isn’t accepting new members. One can tell this by their guarded body language that screams “Admire—then expire!” when you walk by their reserved VIP table waaaaaay in back of the lunchroom.
            On the flip side, most cliques love to meet and talk with new people, so don’t be shy! If you’re new and don’t want to eat your cheese puffs solo, case the caf for a friendly looking group or just take out a book or magazine and chill. If you look confident and comfortable with yourself, someone is bound to join in. (Quick Tip: While you’re sitting there by yourself, feign popularity by pretending to wave at random people. It works!)
            The upshot is finding a crowd to chow with definitely gets easier with time. Before you know it, you will have your own little table surrounded by your best besties, eating the mystery meat du jour!

Convo Starters
Don’t know what to gab about while you grub? Try these hot topics:
 Can you believe that English project?
 Are Uggs really a good look?
 Hottiest hotties
Makeup/breakup/shakeup of the week
“I know, right?,” “That’s so random,” “24/7,” Just sayin’,” “It’s all good,” and other phrases that should be banned
Team Edward vs. Team Jacob
The virtues of headbands
Today’s cute math substitute
Yesterday’s scary science substitute
What teachers really talk about in the lunchroom

Beware: Try to avoid food fights. Some fun seekers might try to instigate, but it’s ultra-immature and could ruin your gear.

Helpful Hint: No matter how tempting it is to food bash, always be nice to the “lunch ladies,” and never insult the food while in earshot. They’re the hardworking women who put the mystery in mystery meat and have hairnets, oversized glasses, and large moles. Always be polite, and try to learn their names (usually something like Edith or Joyce). You may just get an extra big helping of mystery meat goulash!* 


Sunday, September 16, 2012

Teacher Types

teach• er |ˈtē ch ər|
(official definition) – a person who teaches, esp. in a school; an adult role model who indoctrinates the younger generation intellectually, morally, and socially; one who helps others learn, as by example.

teach• er |ˈtē ch ər|
(middle school student’s definition) – an adultish type person who slugs coffee, wears bad ties, frumpish jumpers, and who decided (due to his/her  own scarred teenage existence) to torture kids by inducing parental groundings through frequent phone calls home to report defective grades and deplorable behavior. Resulting outcome: avoid and ignore efforts; torture whenever possible.

The Taskmaster Control Freak/You-Ain’t-Doin’-Nothin’-in-My-Class/Lecturer

These types of teachers became teachers so they could hear themselves talk. The truth is that they have no interest in you or what you have to say. You’ll know them by the classroom arrangement, which consists of unyielding vertical rows with their bully pulpit lectern front and center. Don’t even think about asking to use the bathroom or going to your locker, as the hall pass is simply an accessory for the Taskmaster (i.e., not to be used). And, don’t get sick in their classrooms because you ain’t leaving! Their stock answer for everything is “No!” They have no sense of humor and no sense of mercy. We advise lying low in their classes, as their tolerance for any kind of adolescent shenanigans is nonexistent. Hand in your homework on time and keep a low profile. Cheating, passing notes, and otherwise acting up are unheard of in the Taskmaster’s classroom.

The Fossil/I-Had-Your-Grandmother-and-Will-Have-Your-
Children’s-Children-and-Never-Ever-Retire Teacher

The Fossil tends to linger in the math and science departments. They are well known throughout the local community—and for good reason. They’ve been around forever, and as a result, they have built a solid reputation. They’ve been around so long that their “Just Say No” antidrug posters from the ’80s have an inch of dust caked to them. They use the same old lesson plans, projects, and activities they’ve had since college. Basically, they do their jobs on cruise control and aren’t apt to press the accelerator anytime soon.

Mr./Ms. Good Time/I-Want-to-Be-Liked Teacher
Mr. and Ms. Good Time are usually young and fresh out of college, and their entire educational philosophy is based on being liked. These teachers tend to be easy graders and give less homework (with the exception of a deep fondness for projects) than the others. Their strength is creativity and working outside the textbook (think complete opposite of the Taskmaster). The best thing to do in Mr. and Ms. Good Time’s class is to get them off topic by asking some real-world questions. Also, convince them that a once-a-week party is academically beneficial and aligns perfectly with the standards. Other things to try are having them take you outside, watching teen angst movies, and throwing Game Day because it promotes personal development and self-esteem.

Until next time...Hearts and Rainbows!
L & C

Sunday, September 9, 2012

About CeCee

Full Name: Cecelia Elena Cruz
Biggest Dream: To seek the truth and see that good conquers evil (Okay—I’m an over-the-top fantasy geek)
Favorite Word: Tolkienesque
Favorite Color: Magenta
Biggest Fear: Failure to achieve my middle school* scholastic quest
Siblings: Older sister, Cora (fifteen and a sophomore in high school)
Three Words to Describe Self: Quiet, brainy, trendsetter*
Thing I Love about Self: Astute observer of the human condition
Thing I Hate about Self: I hiccup when I get nervous (the superloud kind)
Birthday: August 28
Most Valued Possession: My Lady of Guadalupe locket from my great-grandmother
Three Things I’d Take on a Deserted Island: My Lady of Guadalupe locket, iPod, family photo
Obsession: In lieu of any magical crystal amulet, I shall never be without my Blistex
Biggest Annoyance: People who don’t use the gifts bestowed on them and who are mean for no reason
Secret: I have a belly ring (Shhhhh …)
Bestest Bestie: Lucy Pringle
Luv Her Cuz: She makes me laugh and reminds me not to take myself so seriously
Favorite Book: Lord of the Rings
Favorite Movie(s): The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King
Hobby: Editor of school newspaper
Favorite Food: Twizzler Nibs

*Middle school is kind of like Middle-earth. It’s a magical journey filled with elves, dwarves, hobbits, queens, kings, and a few corrupt wizards. Word to the wise: pick your traveling companions well. Ones with the courage and moral fiber to persevere. Ones who wield their lip gloss like magic wands when confronted with danger. This way, when you pass through the congested hallways rife with pernicious diversion, you achieve your desired destination—or at least your next class.

**Irony alert—I’m a class-A brainiac, but my clothes are way fetch! 

Sunday, September 2, 2012

About Lucy...

Full Name: Lucy Anne Pringle
Biggest Dream: To be popular and have a boyfriend with a one-syllable J name like Jim, Jake, or Joel; to be invited to Kandi Klass’s annual birthday sleepover party*
Favorite Word: Ew!
Favorite Color: Bubblegum pink
Biggest Fear: Being ignored
Siblings: Older sister, Lilly (sixteen years old and thinks she’s all that), and younger sister, Lacey (six years old and soooo annoying!)
Three Words to Describe Self: Bouncy, spazzy, chatty
Thing I Love about Self: Kinda cute toes
Thing I Hate about Self: Eyebrows are bordering on a unibrow but too scared to pluck
Birthday: April 23
Most Valued Possession: My faux Coach purse
Three Things I’d Take on a Deserted Island: My faux Coach purse, autographed picture of Justin Bieber purchased on eBay, Taylor Swift CD
Obsession: Astrology and my less-than-perfect complexion making me feel like Zit-zilla
Biggest Annoyance: Being perpetually grounded to the Tower of Pringle
Secret: I’m 99.9 percent positive everyone at Madison Heights thinks I’m a dork
Bestest Bestie: CeCee Cruz
Luv Her Cuz: She has great specs appeal
Favorite Book: Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham
Favorite Movie: The Princess Diaries (reminds me that dreams do come true)
Hobby: Going to the mall; reading Seventeen, Teen Vogue, and CosmoGIRL
Favorite Food: Cinnabons and Taco Bell (not together, but wouldn’t be opposed)

*Kandi Klass is the VIP queen bee of Madison Heights Middle School. She is the standard by which all other MHMS girls are measured and both my idol and the bane of my existence. Her birthday is April 2—the day of her annual birthday sleepover party. It’s my absolute dream to be invited. If only she knew I existed …