An Excerpt From the Award-Winning Tell-All
Lucy and CeCee's How to Survive (and Thrive) in Middle School
Before moving on, let’s contrast girls with guys. Of course there are S.M.G.’s (Super Mean Guys), too. But they are an entirely different breed. At their worst, guys will just call each other some unmentionables, have a fistfight, only to throw hoops and be friends an hour later. With girls, it’s much more sinister, covert, and under the table.
Enter the S.M.G.: She’ll roll her eyes at you, smirk, and whisper something to her B.F.F. as you walk by. Then she’ll laugh. You brush it off and think it’s just happenstance. Maybe she’s talking about someone else. But the next time you see her at lunch she mutters, “Nice clothes. Where do you shop, the Good Will?” She’ll continue bashing you to her friends by cutting down your clothes, hair, and overall personality, only to finish with an “Am I mean?” And you can’t really tell an adult because 1) tattling is considered really lame in middle school and 2) she hasn’t done anything super bad. Still, you feel terrible and want to cry. Why? Because S.M.G.’s never took Kindness 101. She’s a Super Mean Girl and she’s getting to you, which is exactly what she wants to do.
So – here’s how to deal:
♥ First, confront the S.M.G. when she’s alone and without her entourage. Ask what you did to upset her. This will probably get her to stop. Most S.M.G.’s don’t expect or like to be confronted.
♥ Every mean girl group has an alpha or a queen bee, who’s like the ring leader. If you befriend the alpha queen bee, her followers will most likely leave you alone (unless it’s the alpha who’s being the S.M.G.).
♥ If the S.M.G. is talking about you with her S.M.G. clique, you have a few options. You can 1) ignore them, 2) laugh it off, or 3) stare them right in the eyes. Whatever you do, look super confident (head up, shoulders back) so not to appear intimidated. Don’t look at the ground or act schlumpy. Always appear poised and in control, and never resort to physical violence!
♥ It’s hard but try not to cry. If the S.M.G. sees peer-tears, she knows she “has you,” which is what she wants – power and control.
♥ Know that chances are the S.M.G. will get tired of picking on you and stop. She rarely sticks with one victim and you probably aren’t her only target. Just remember that you’re awesome and she’s obviously jealous of something you possess (beauty, brains, personality, all three). Stick with your own group of friends who love you.
S.M.G.’s are bad, but there is a world of difference between her and the cyberbully. With just the click of a mouse, a cyberbully can ruin someone’s life – permanently. It’s a serious offense and in a few extreme cases has even led to suicide.
First, know what a cyberbully is. A cyberbully:
1. Pretends they are someone else online in order to trick or obtain information
2. Spreads lies and rumors about other people
3. Sends or forwards hurtful messages or texts
4. Posts pictures of others without their consent or in embarrassing situations, like changing in the locker room.
This is nothing to fool around with. If you come across a cyberbully, identify them and block all communication. Go and report it to an adult immediately, such as a teacher, counselor, or parent. And never, ever retaliate with your own cyber attack. For more information, there are helpful websites such as Stopcyberbullyingnow.com